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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446638">Titles Are A Spook</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndervaluedAgent/pseuds/UndervaluedAgent'>UndervaluedAgent</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Realicide (Webseries)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Diary/Journal, Everyone except Egoist is only mentioned, Feelings Realization, M/M, This is kinda dumb I'm sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:01:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndervaluedAgent/pseuds/UndervaluedAgent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Egoist has a crush, but he doesn't always know what's in his self-interest. Told through his journal.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ingsoc/Egoist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Titles Are A Spook</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Egoist's log:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So. The Realicide mission is going...nowhere, thus far. Our self-proclaimed "leader," Grej, is telling us to wait for when the time is right. Of course, I am only following this order as it seems to be inadvertently pleasing my ego.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I must admit, I am concerned as to why it seems to be pleasing my ego. My new (teammates?) are all a pain. Communalist is far too intent on collectivizing things, and they won't quit asking to try on my glasses no matter how many times I tell them that one thing that pleases my ego greatly is ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO SEE. Darwinist at first seemed like someone I could tolerate, but it turns out that the way he hates on gay people is very detrimental to my ego.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ingsoc...Ingsoc is a very strange case. His simple presence both strongly pleases and displeases my ego. Perhaps it is due to his doublethink field attempting to trick me into liking him. Peculiar. His doublethink doesn't usually work on me, as I am too strong-willed for that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have recently found that it greatly amuses my ego when authoritarians attempt to be threatening, but they just look cute instead. This is how I feel about Ingsoc. I don't understand how he could possibly keep control over an entire civilization when he looks this cute. Although that could be how he keeps control. Perhaps he seduces them into blindly following him. Though I would never blindly follow someone just because they were cute, as it would not please my ego, I can understand how it may trick others and their egos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ingsoc has tried to convince me that I am like him and that I should join him, and I've shooed him off every time. Forming a totalitarian state would not be in my self-interest. Simple as that. But it's like he's begging for me to stay around him. I've noticed him stare at me. I've noticed him lean his head on my shoulder on movie nights while Darwinist isn't looking. I've noticed him try to do little favors for me. It's obvious that I please his ego in a romantic sense. This is probably why he tries to use his doublethink field on me: to get me to like him back. I refuse to buy into it, however. If he wants my affection, he's going to have to actually earn it without brainwashing me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goodbye for now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Egoist's log:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out I was wrong about the doublethink field. Grej came by today and spoke with us, and he explained that doublethink only works when Ingsoc says two contradictory things. Ingsoc has never told me what my opinion on him is. Perhaps he truly does please and displease my ego.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...I think he might please my ego in a romantic sense. This explains a lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I suppose that if dating Ingsoc will please my ego, I may as well try it. I suppose this Realicide is good for more than just destroying those who think morality is objective.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goodbye for now.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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